My Resolution

I wrote the following piece for my community writing group's January meeting. The theme was New Beginnings. 

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My family and I were on vacation in Oregon. It was the summer of 2003 and we were visiting my in-laws before they retired to a new home in a new state. I had five little kids at the time, the youngest was about a month old, if that, and we had all been enjoying our carefree stay at the family farm for the last time. None of this really matters or has anything to do with the rest of this story, but it's ingrained in my mind because I picture where I was every time I think of the phone call. 

One ordinary day on the farm, my dad called. When I look back on that conversation, the first words I think of are my dad saying, "I have cancer." He had been diagnosed with colon cancer and he wanted me to hear it from him. I immediately started bawling which is no surprise because I'm a total daddy's girl. But before you start feeling sorry for me or my dad, let me reassure you - my dad didn't die from colon cancer. In fact, he lived another 13 1/2 years before he was diagnosed with esophageal cancer and passed away ten days later. But that is also not the point of this story. I just felt like you might be wondering, so I wanted to share how that all played out. 

So back to the phone call. I don't remember exactly what was said or all the reassurances that were given. But at some point after my dad broke the news about his cancer, he said, "This is the best thing that's ever happened to me! Everyone should have the opportunity to look at their life through this lens." At the time, I disagreed with him, mostly because it felt like the worst thing that had ever happened to me. I couldn't bear the thought of losing my dad. But as I've thought of those words from time to time over the past 20 years, my perspective has shifted. And as I considered them once again last November, I decided on a New Year's resolution: To live like I'm dying.

I'm not dying, by the way, at least not as far as I know. But I'm trying to live my life as if my days were numbered. A little over three weeks into this new year, here is how it's going so far:

• I have a lot of stuff. I'm one of those people that holds onto things just in case I might need it again someday, even though I haven't needed it in, I don't know, three years? Five years? I mean, you never know! Don't get me wrong. I'm not a hoarder. And I'm not even that sentimental, but there are some things that were really useful in their day and it's hard for me to part with them. I've found it's a lot easier to get rid of things if I know of someone who can actually use them right now. Or if I remind myself that I can always buy it again if I ever need it. Or I think of the burden I'd be passing onto my kids if they're the ones who have to go through all of my stuff when I'm gone. There are some things I think they'll be glad I saved, but that's definitely the exception, not the rule. I'm realizing that now is the time to let go. And the more I get rid of, the easier it gets.
• I'm trying to be nicer and more patient with others, especially my family. Nobody's perfect and we all have bad days. So I'm trying to be more forgiving and reassuring; to quickly move on from frustrations and annoyances. Regardless of how much time I have left, life is too short to hold a grudge.
• On that same note, I'm trying to practice kindness. Whether that means taking cookies to my neighbor, paying for the person behind me in line, or simply giving people the benefit of the doubt, I want to be that person. I want to leave people better than I found them. 
• I've become more deliberate about managing my time. Sometimes I ask myself, "If not now, when?" If my days were numbered then there might not be a better time in the future so I need to make good use of today. I'm getting things done, but I'm also prioritizing so that I don't spend time on things that don't really matter. I'm finally going to finish that quilt I started two years ago... :)
• I'm more open to new opportunities and spur-of-the-moment experiences. I want to have fun! I want to live life while I still can! I have a reputation for being a tightwad, but there's a big difference between spending money on stuff I don't need and enjoying unique experiences with my family, like driving for four hours to see one of my daughter's favorite musicals. We've already booked our flight to Utah in March so we can hear my son's music group perform live. I can't wait!  

These are just a few of the ways I'm learning to live like I'm dying. I'm sure the fact that I'm not actually dying limits my experience to some extent, but even so, I appreciate the new perspective it's given me and the positive changes I've made so far as a result of my resolution. I'm looking forward to more progress, insights, and meaningful experiences throughout the year and beyond. After all, to quote my dad, "everyone should have the opportunity to look at their life through this lens."  

With Love From New York: Showing Support For Ukraine

Sadie, Jeff and I were in New York over the weekend. It was an amazing trip with the choir and band students from Sadie's high school. We were able to see and do a lot of memorable things, and maybe I'll eventually post a bit more. But I wanted to share what happened at the very end of our trip, just before boarding the buses for the long drive home. 

Our last activity on Sunday night was "Top of The Rock", the observation deck at the top of the Rockefeller Center. The 360º view of the city is said to be stunning. Unfortunately, the weather was wet and freezing and foggy. There was even a guide who met us at the elevators to tell us that there was zero visibility and we were welcome to use our tickets at a later date instead. Since this was our last day in New York, that wasn't an option for us so up we went. 

While the view was somewhat limited, it was still beautiful with the misty fog and the lights on the buildings. The Empire State building was a bright blue with gold lights below. As I looked around the city, I saw a few other buildings with lights across the top - a solid stripe of blue above a stripe of golden yellow - and I realized they were lit up in support of Ukraine. Then, with that realization, I looked back at the Empire State building, saw the blue and gold again, and almost started to cry. Here was this iconic structure making a bold statement for all the world (or at least all of New York) to see. Yes, I felt like bawling, but I really felt proud and happy and in total agreement with the sentiment. It was a beautiful way to end our trip. 

BYU Grads

We have our first two college graduates in the family! 

Sam and Savannah graduated from BYU today - Sam in Biology with a minor in Ballroom Dance and Savannah with a bachelors in Nursing. Sam has a few things to finish up during Spring term, but he was still part of the official end of term graduation ceremony. 

They both made it through some crazy hard classes, unpredictable circumstances, and the upheaval of Covid. But they've also had so many amazing experiences and made some great friends along the way. 

Congratulations, Sam and Savannah! We're so proud of you and can't wait to see what your bright futures hold!

An Easter Celebration

Sterling is serving in the Texas San Antonio Mission. Last night the mission shared a musical Easter Celebration over Facebook Live and YouTube. It's a collection of musical numbers performed by missionaries and members throughout the greater San Antonio area. It's really beautiful and uplifting. Sterling recorded and mixed all the audio. He also sings in two of the numbers (at 38:55 and 45:35). I would have loved this even if Sterling wasn't involved, but seeing his cute face makes me love it even more.

Click here to watch: YouTube or you can also click on the picture below. 

Hygge

HYGGE n. - a quality of coziness that makes a person feel content and comfortable.

I first heard of hygge (pronounced hoo-ga) maybe two or three years ago. I immediately fell in love with the idea of fuzzy sweaters, wool socks, lighting candles and snuggling up together with blankets and hot cocoa during the drab winter months. I read "The Little Book of Hygge," by Meik Wiking and made cozy little alterations to our most lived-in spaces whenever I was inspired to do so. 

I haven't thought specifically about hygge in the past year or so, but I happened to listen to a podcast this morning that mentioned some of the benefits of hygge. As I listened, I realized that we have embraced hygge and, as a result, we love to be home. 

I look back over the past year of shutdowns and cancelations and how frustrating it's been for so many. I hear of kids who choose to spend most of the day alone in their bedrooms and I feel sad for them. I feel sad for their mothers. I'm grateful that, when school was all online, my kids both stayed in the living room all day. They often snuggled up in a blanket while completing assignments. I made cookies and brought them regular snacks throughout the day. We ate lunch together. Often there was a puzzle or a paint-by-number in progress on a little table against the living room wall. We watched every season of Phineas and Ferb. (How had we never seen that before Covid?) Even now that the kids are back in school, once they get home they hang out in the living room to do their homework. They run lines and practice songs for their musical together. There is always music playing in the background. We always eat dinner together. We play games regularly as a family. We watch Hallmark movies and have daily scripture study together. We aren't perfect and we sometimes get on each others nerves, but we're quick to forgive and move on.

No wonder I never want to leave. My home feels like hygge to me. 

Service Station

When life gets overwhelming and personal problems seem too much to bear, it's curiously healing to set aside our own difficulties and find ways to lighten the burdens of others. That's what I love about the quote below. Service has a way of putting things into perspective and highlighting the things that are most important. 

 

Be A Light

I remember we were just a few weeks into the pandemic when I first heard this song by Thomas Rhett last April. We were all feeling a little cooped up, frustrated, and tired. There was also plenty of finger pointing about decisions being made on a national level, not to mention the political tension as candidates and their parties couldn't say anything nice about each other. 

Country music always seems to tell it like it is and the lyrics to this song pretty clearly state what we all needed to hear then, and need just as much now. 

Here are just a few of the lyrics (first verse and chorus), but the whole song is worth listening to.

In a time full of war, be peace.

In a time full of doubt, just believe.

Yeah, there ain't that much difference between you and me.

In a time full of war, be peace.

In a world full of hate, be a light.

When you do somebody wrong, make it right.

Don't hide in the dark. You were born to shine.

In a world full of hate, be a light.

I Stand At The Door

This painting by Del Parson is a great visualization of Revelation 3:20 - "Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me."

Most look at this as a reminder that we need to open the door and let the Savior in. He always honors our agency so He's not going to barge in; it is always our choice. 

So why not open the door? Well, maybe those on the inside desperately want to let the Savior in, but they feel like they need to clean their house first. Everything is such a mess and they are embarrassed and don't want the Savior to see the chaos. And when your messy house really represents your messy, sinful life, it's common to feel like you need to clean up the mess before allowing the Savior in. 

But what if you could zoom out from the painting above and see that Christ brought a whole slew of cleaning supplies with Him? What if the reason He's there is to help you clean your house? 

Isn't that just the most comforting and hopeful thought? I love that perspective. I wish I'd come up with it myself, but I heard it from Savannah's husband, Hayden. He and Savannah have a podcast called "I Stand At The Door," and it's about overcoming pornography and inviting the Savior in to help you. I know that the thoughts they share are giving hope to many people. And many of the things they discuss can be helpful in overcoming other sins and addictions. But my favorite so far is their picture of the Savior standing outside the door with every needed cleaning supply just ready to put them to good use, if only He is allowed inside.

A Worthy Cause

Do you want to make a world of difference with a small donation? I have just the charity for you. Educate the Kids is a charity out of Scotland that has built an orphanage and schools and changed the lives of thousands of children in a small village in Kenya, Africa. The charity was started by Maureen over 20 years ago. Maureen is the mother of my friend, Yvonne, from Scotland. Yvonne helps run the charity as well. These ladies are as good as they come. I have known them for almost 30 years and I can fully vouch for their integrity and goodness. 

Because Educate the Kids is run by volunteers, they don't withhold any money from donations for administrative fees. Every penny of your donation will go to help the kids. You can donate directly through their website or you can contribute specifically toward food parcels* through Just Giving. The food parcel program was set up when the village lost their main source of income - tourism - during the Covid pandemic. Educate the Kids has literally saved this little community by providing them food and hope. 

The school is finally open once again after the pandemic closed it for several months.

A little goes a long way! Please consider a donation. And tell your friends! 

*The food parcel program says it's for Christmas, but as of today (February 18, 2021), they are still collecting donations and providing the parcels to families in the village. 

These handsome boys live in the orphanage.

How Great Thou Art

Sterling is in San Antonio, Texas as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Because of Covid-19, missionary work looks a lot different in 2020 than it did when I served in Scotland a million years ago. Missionaries are currently unable to knock on doors and ask people if they are interested in learning about Christ and His gospel. While hard at first, missionaries are stepping up to the challenge all over the world and coming up with new and, often, better ways to share the gospel. 

As you may know, Sterling is very musical. Walking away from his at-home recording studio was hard on him when he left last December. But now he's got his recording equipment with him in Texas and he's putting his talents and skills to good use. Sterling and the others on the mission technology committee are working together to help their fellow missionaries produce videos to share their light with the world. 

Here's a video they released last week. It's an arrangement that Sterling heard and then recreated. It was originally sung by an a cappella group called Reprise. 

Sterling should have another video coming out in the next day or two that he arranged himself. I can't wait!

Reppin' the Y

It's no secret that we're big BYU fans. Jeff and I graduated from Brigham Young University. Sam is currently a student there and Savannah will be back in the fall. Spencer will start in January, and if all goes well, Sterling will start in January, too. We are "Reppin' the Y" from our dining room table to our wardrobe choices - Sterling wears a BYU shirt to school at least 3 days a week - and I hope we're Reppin' the Y in our conduct as well.

This graduation speech at BYU by one who is not a member of our faith and who never actually attended BYU gives new meaning to "Reppin' the Y." I love what Honorary Doctorate Arthur C. Brooks says about his behavior when sporting a BYU briefcase. But listen further because his talk is powerful as he discusses anger vs. contempt, how differing viewpoints is not a bad thing, and how we can learn to "disagree better." It was well worth twelve minutes of my day!

ReMix Revisited

Sterling attended the ReMix Vocal Academy during the summer of 2017 at BYU. It was such an amazing experience that he and Soren were excited to attend together this year.

It didn't disappoint.

Sterling was the first one we saw in the show opener.

A whole week of a cappella instruction and rehearsal, team bonding and workshops makes for a really good time. The teams were super tight and both of my boys loved every minute. They are already saving up for next year. 

Here are the numbers my boys were in:
Show Opener (all teams): Kaleidoscope

Blue Team (Sterling): Home For Me

Green Team (Soren): Pieces

Closing Mashup (all teams)

If you are interested in hearing the other team songs, here's a link to the entire ReMix session B playlist.

Sterling had the opening solo in his team song.

Soren had a solo in his team song, too. 

Sterling's team. Sterling is third in the back row.

Soren's team. Soren is first on the bottom row.

Sterling in the awesome Beatboxing showcase. (Sadly, they didn't post the video on YouTube this year.)

The boys' cousin, Trevor, was at ReMix this year, too. He had a great experience and his team song, Maps, was really cool.

Trevor is second in the back row. 

My boys are sad it's over, but they still listen to the music regularly and are in touch with their team members. It's not something they'll soon forget and was the highlight of their summer! (...especially when you compare it to getting their wisdom teeth out the following week before leaving Utah. They had to drive the 1500-miles home on a liquid/soft food diet and a regular rotation of Tylenol and ibuprofen. lol. But that's another story....)

Here's Your Change

After missing for the past few months, I finally attended our community writing group again last night. I don't know why I've stayed away. It's a really fantastic group of people who are very encouraging and funny and kind.

Last night, the assigned topic was change. I had a busy evening so I knew I'd be quite late to the meeting and I thought about missing again, but as I pondered the topic, my paper pretty much wrote itself so I went and shared it with the group. Here it is.

Here’s Your Change

I was selling tickets last week on opening night of my daughter’s school play. Ticket prices were four and seven dollars which meant I repeated the line “Here’s your change” dozens of times as I handed back various assortments of bills.

As I thought about the topic of change, that phrase “Here’s your change,” kept running through my mind. If only it were that easy, I thought.  But as I reflected more and more, I realized that maybe it is. Maybe change isn’t as elusive as it sometimes feels.

Recently I was listening to a podcast when the speaker said something that was so inspiring that she may as well have reached through the internet to say, “Here’s your change.”

She pointed out, in short, that circumstances are neutral. It’s our thoughts and the meaning we give them that determine our feelings which determine our actions. So if we can change the way we think about something, we can change the way we feel and ultimately act.

This goes along with my belief that we have been put here on earth as agents to act, not objects to be acted upon.

Let me share a simple example.

Let’s say I have a preschooler and she spills her milk during dinner. I immediately get mad, thinking (and saying) that she is so irresponsible and if she would pay more attention to what she’s doing, I wouldn’t have so much work to do. I get up in a huff to clean it up, fuming the whole time.

Is she irresponsible? No. That’s only what I think about her, but it doesn’t make it true. The only fact here is that there is milk spilled on the table. What is she then? Well, she’s a preschooler. Sometimes preschoolers spill their milk and that’s okay. If I can slow down enough to change my thinking, I may even find some compassion and reassurance for my daughter to let her know that she’s normal and that spilled milk is no big deal. Do you see the difference?

So if, for example, you don’t think your husband is doing a very good job making you happy, stop and change your thinking. That’s not his job. It’s yours. No one can make you happy because you are not an object to be acted upon. It’s what you think about the things your husband does and what meaning you give to those thoughts that determine your feelings of happiness…or not. It’s also important to realize that it’s not your job to make your husband happy. It’s his. Because we’re agents to act, we have the option to choose happiness. No one can force it upon us. Release other people to feel how they feel. You can’t control their feelings. And know that you are free to feel how you feel and that you can change your thinking and the meaning you give those thoughts to arrive at the feelings and, ultimately, the actions that best serve you.

This is potentially life-changing stuff. I know it has changed my perspective. I have realized that when I react negatively based on other people’s actions, I am giving them control over me. I have learned that I can change my thinking and it will, in turn, change everything.

One other thought.

As I pictured my podcast friend reaching through the internet with my “change,” my mind’s eye focused in on another picture. It was one of the outstretched arms of the Savior. I could see the marks of the nails in his hands as he said, “Here’s your change.”  I had to catch my breath because that is exactly what the Savior offers to each one of us. “Behold, he sendeth an invitation unto all men, for the arms of mercy are extended towards them, and he saith: Repent, and I will receive you,” (Alma 5:33).

Repentance means change. It’s not always easy, but change is what will allow us to return to our Heavenly Father and feel comfortable in His presence. We will never achieve perfection on our own, but through the Savior’s Atoning sacrifice, we can become perfect through Him. He can change our very hearts. This is available to each one of us, but He always honors our agency and will never force us to choose Him. But if and when we do, we will see Him waiting there with outstretched arms.

“Here’s your change.”

Saying Goodbye...Again

We said goodbye to our beautiful Savannah this morning. She's on her way to the Missionary Training Center for a few weeks before heading to the Nevada Las Vegas West Mission for 18 months.

Savannah has been home from BYU for a month just waiting for this day. As hard as it was to say goodbye, I know she's ready which made it a lot easier to let her go. There is so much about Savannah that will contribute to her being an amazing missionary. She's funny and smart. She doesn't hold grudges. People feel safe with Savannah; she just loves everyone. She has an amazing testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ and isn't shy about sharing it. We miss her already, but I know she's going to be just fine.

Over the last few weeks, Savannah and Sterling have been working together to record an A Cappella cover of "This Is Me" from The Greatest Showman. Sterling wrote the arrangement and the two of them laid down all 8 tracks. They finished it up just in time. It is admittedly amateur, but I think they did a great job!! It was fun and very satisfying as a mom to see them working so enthusiastically together to complete this fun project. :) Here you go:

Light the World - Day 1

Today is the start of the Light the World campaign by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. There are challenges each day leading up to Christmas - different ways to Light the World through service. Everyone is welcome and encouraged to join in. Just think of what a difference we can make!

Today's challenge is found in Matthew 10:8 - "Freely ye have received, freely give." 

I love today's video. I wish there were vending machines like this in my little corner of the world!



What am I doing today? I'm going to make a donation to my favorite charity, Educate the Kids. It's run by a friend of mine from Scotland. 100% of donations go to help the children in a small village in Kenya. Educate the Kids has built an orphanage and two schools for these kids. They also provide lunch (and sometimes breakfast) each day for the school children. For some, this is the only food these kids get. I've been feeling so, so grateful for all my blessings and know that a little bit will go a long way to help those in extreme poverty. Educate the Kids is working miracles for these children through education.

Go to https://www.mormon.org/ to find out more about the campaign and to see all the challenges. Are you in?

Let's do this! We can #LighttheWorld. :)

Paint Louis

The city of St. Louis has a graffiti event every year, cleverly called Paint Louis. Graffiti artists paint sections of the flood wall south of the gateway arch.

Having previously studied this art form, a missionary serving in the St. Louis area decided last year that he wanted to be a part of the event. He was accepted to participate, received permission from his mission president and he and his companion got to work. The event was held a few weeks ago. I love how they were able to share their message in such a unique way. And I love the final result, right down to their graffiti "tag" in the top right corner.

Click here to read the whole story. It's pretty cool!

Where in the World? Savannah Edition

Imagesource

And here we go again! :)

If it feels like we just did this, we did. Now Savannah's mission papers have been submitted and we're gathering guesses. No one accurately guessed that Spencer would be called to the Idaho Idaho Falls Mission. He's been making the necessary preparations and is getting excited and a little nervous. (He'll be a great missionary!) He reports to the Missionary Training Center on October 4.

We can't wait to learn where Savannah will serve!

Here's are the guesses so far:

1. Senegal

2. Netherlands

3. Austria

4. Salt Lake City Temple Square

5. Tahiti

6. California

7. Guatemala

8. Washington D.C.

9. Texas

10. Puerto Rico

11. Spain

12. Vanuatu

13. Scotland

14. Kenya

15. Oklahoma

16. Australia

17. East Coast

18. Greenland

19. Costa Rica

20. China

21. Baltic States

22. Japan

Where do YOU think Savannah will go?

Be the One

This video really speaks for itself. We love Gentri and the positive messages they so beautifully articulate through their music. Enjoy!

25 Years Ago Today

Twenty five years ago today was a big day for me.

Saying goodbye to my dad at the MTC. (I've always had a hard time saying goodbye to my dad!)

On July 1, 1992, I entered the Missionary Training Center in Provo, Utah in preparation for my service in the Scotland Edinburgh Mission (SEM). I was in the MTC for only 13 days. At the time, missionaries going to English-speaking missions stayed in the MTC for 3 weeks. However, the SEM was getting a new mission president and the outgoing president wanted to get us there before the change to lessen the load on the new president.

The classic MTC picture - my district pointing to Scotland on the big MTC map. I'm in the floral skirt.

I loved the MTC. Two districts totaling 21 missionaries had all been called to Scotland so we were a pretty tight group. 

My MTC district. I'm the one in pink.

I have so many great memories of my time in the MTC and my mission. If I had to do it over again, I definitely would!

Pioneer Trek

My boys have had quite a week! Monday morning they left for Mammoth Cave in Kentucky with their Scout troop. They went caving and hiking and pretty much wore themselves out until they left for home on Wednesday morning. They got home in time for lunch then hurried to repack and switch to pioneer gear before they headed out that same afternoon for our stake's youth conference Pioneer Trek.

For the next three days, they pulled handcarts, danced, cooked and ate in the great outdoors, and tried to stay dry during a thunderstorm. And you know what? They loved it! They all had a great time honoring our many pioneer ancestors.

This is my favorite photo from trek. Don't my boys just look the part? I love that Jeff was with them, too.

The whole group:

Here is Spencer (far right) with his trek family.

This is part of Sterling's trek family. It's hard to tell with the smoke (though I love the effect), but Sterling is second to the right. His Ma and Pa are in the center.

Soren (left) with part of his trek family:

A couple of months before trek, the youth were encouraged to submit stories from their pioneer ancestors. Here, Spencer is sharing one of the submitted stories.

Here, Soren is helping his "family" stabilize the handcart as they walk down a hill.

On the last day, on a steep segment of the trail, the girls had to pull the handcarts alone while the men and boys watched helplessly. My boys said that as each group of girls reached the summit, they left their handcarts and hurried to help the girls still on the trail.