My Resolution

I wrote the following piece for my community writing group's January meeting. The theme was New Beginnings. 

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My family and I were on vacation in Oregon. It was the summer of 2003 and we were visiting my in-laws before they retired to a new home in a new state. I had five little kids at the time, the youngest was about a month old, if that, and we had all been enjoying our carefree stay at the family farm for the last time. None of this really matters or has anything to do with the rest of this story, but it's ingrained in my mind because I picture where I was every time I think of the phone call. 

One ordinary day on the farm, my dad called. When I look back on that conversation, the first words I think of are my dad saying, "I have cancer." He had been diagnosed with colon cancer and he wanted me to hear it from him. I immediately started bawling which is no surprise because I'm a total daddy's girl. But before you start feeling sorry for me or my dad, let me reassure you - my dad didn't die from colon cancer. In fact, he lived another 13 1/2 years before he was diagnosed with esophageal cancer and passed away ten days later. But that is also not the point of this story. I just felt like you might be wondering, so I wanted to share how that all played out. 

So back to the phone call. I don't remember exactly what was said or all the reassurances that were given. But at some point after my dad broke the news about his cancer, he said, "This is the best thing that's ever happened to me! Everyone should have the opportunity to look at their life through this lens." At the time, I disagreed with him, mostly because it felt like the worst thing that had ever happened to me. I couldn't bear the thought of losing my dad. But as I've thought of those words from time to time over the past 20 years, my perspective has shifted. And as I considered them once again last November, I decided on a New Year's resolution: To live like I'm dying.

I'm not dying, by the way, at least not as far as I know. But I'm trying to live my life as if my days were numbered. A little over three weeks into this new year, here is how it's going so far:

• I have a lot of stuff. I'm one of those people that holds onto things just in case I might need it again someday, even though I haven't needed it in, I don't know, three years? Five years? I mean, you never know! Don't get me wrong. I'm not a hoarder. And I'm not even that sentimental, but there are some things that were really useful in their day and it's hard for me to part with them. I've found it's a lot easier to get rid of things if I know of someone who can actually use them right now. Or if I remind myself that I can always buy it again if I ever need it. Or I think of the burden I'd be passing onto my kids if they're the ones who have to go through all of my stuff when I'm gone. There are some things I think they'll be glad I saved, but that's definitely the exception, not the rule. I'm realizing that now is the time to let go. And the more I get rid of, the easier it gets.
• I'm trying to be nicer and more patient with others, especially my family. Nobody's perfect and we all have bad days. So I'm trying to be more forgiving and reassuring; to quickly move on from frustrations and annoyances. Regardless of how much time I have left, life is too short to hold a grudge.
• On that same note, I'm trying to practice kindness. Whether that means taking cookies to my neighbor, paying for the person behind me in line, or simply giving people the benefit of the doubt, I want to be that person. I want to leave people better than I found them. 
• I've become more deliberate about managing my time. Sometimes I ask myself, "If not now, when?" If my days were numbered then there might not be a better time in the future so I need to make good use of today. I'm getting things done, but I'm also prioritizing so that I don't spend time on things that don't really matter. I'm finally going to finish that quilt I started two years ago... :)
• I'm more open to new opportunities and spur-of-the-moment experiences. I want to have fun! I want to live life while I still can! I have a reputation for being a tightwad, but there's a big difference between spending money on stuff I don't need and enjoying unique experiences with my family, like driving for four hours to see one of my daughter's favorite musicals. We've already booked our flight to Utah in March so we can hear my son's music group perform live. I can't wait!  

These are just a few of the ways I'm learning to live like I'm dying. I'm sure the fact that I'm not actually dying limits my experience to some extent, but even so, I appreciate the new perspective it's given me and the positive changes I've made so far as a result of my resolution. I'm looking forward to more progress, insights, and meaningful experiences throughout the year and beyond. After all, to quote my dad, "everyone should have the opportunity to look at their life through this lens."  

With Love From New York: Showing Support For Ukraine

Sadie, Jeff and I were in New York over the weekend. It was an amazing trip with the choir and band students from Sadie's high school. We were able to see and do a lot of memorable things, and maybe I'll eventually post a bit more. But I wanted to share what happened at the very end of our trip, just before boarding the buses for the long drive home. 

Our last activity on Sunday night was "Top of The Rock", the observation deck at the top of the Rockefeller Center. The 360º view of the city is said to be stunning. Unfortunately, the weather was wet and freezing and foggy. There was even a guide who met us at the elevators to tell us that there was zero visibility and we were welcome to use our tickets at a later date instead. Since this was our last day in New York, that wasn't an option for us so up we went. 

While the view was somewhat limited, it was still beautiful with the misty fog and the lights on the buildings. The Empire State building was a bright blue with gold lights below. As I looked around the city, I saw a few other buildings with lights across the top - a solid stripe of blue above a stripe of golden yellow - and I realized they were lit up in support of Ukraine. Then, with that realization, I looked back at the Empire State building, saw the blue and gold again, and almost started to cry. Here was this iconic structure making a bold statement for all the world (or at least all of New York) to see. Yes, I felt like bawling, but I really felt proud and happy and in total agreement with the sentiment. It was a beautiful way to end our trip. 

Merry Christmas 2021

It's hard to believe 2021 is already coming to an end. After 2020, which felt like the longest year ever, 2021 has flown by. It's been full of so many great moments and memories. Just a few of the highlights include: two college grads (Savannah in April, Sam in December), our first grandbaby - Walker is the cutest little guy ever (ever!!), Soren graduating from high school in May then leaving to serve in the Utah Salt Lake City mission at the end of the summer, Sterling returning home from the Texas San Antonio mission last week.  

There's plenty to look forward to in 2022. But for now, I'm happy to just pause and be grateful for the baby born in Bethlehem over 2,000 years ago, the Savior of the world. 

Merry Christmas!

'Tis But a Scratch

Sadie signed up to play in the Homecoming powderpuff football match. During practice a couple of weeks ago, while running to tackle a defendant who had intercepted the ball, Sadie slipped on wet grass and caught herself with her left hand as she went down hard. She laughed it off at first, but then realized her left wrist looked a bit wonky. I got a surprisingly calm phone call that went something like, "I think I broke my wrist. You should probably come pick me up now."

Four hours in the Emergency Room verified that Sadie's wrist was broken. The end of her radius was tipped back and, despite more than one attempt to bring it back into alignment, she was put in a bulky cast and told that surgery might be needed. We were sent home with instructions to see an orthopedic surgeon within a few days. 

Sadie didn't miss a beat; she was at school the next day. One of her biggest hurdles was not being able to type so some of her teachers gave her extra time to complete assignments, but overall she wasn't going to let this slow her down. Four days later, we took her to the orthopedic surgeon. He said she would need surgery to either 1. manipulate the bone into place and hope it heals properly, but often it will tip back again or 2. put in a plate to hold the bone in place and solve the problem. At his recommendation, we opted for number 2. He was able to schedule surgery the next day.

Sadie's biggest fears are doctors and needles. She really isn't scared of much else. To keep her mind off the surgery, she attended her first two classes the next day. I picked her up from school and we went straight to the hospital. Despite her fears, Sadie was so brave as they inserted the IV. For her, that was the hardest part. Then before we knew it, she was waking up from surgery and prepping to go home. 

The orthopedic surgeon assured me that everything went well. He even stayed longer to stitch her up himself to make sure it was done well. :) A little over 6 hours after we arrived, Sadie was given the green light and we headed home. She even insisted she was well enough to attend a couple hours of a college softball game that some friends were playing in that evening. 

Most people would settle in and take a couple of days to rest, but this was Homecoming Week and Sadie had been looking forward to Decade Day for a few weeks. So the next morning she got all dressed up and headed to school. She made it through like a champ and definitely rocked the awesome '80's, complete with big hair, acid washed jeans, and Jeff's high school letterman's jacket from 1987.    

Sadie, the day after surgery

Since then, Sadie's hardly complained. We're hoping she graduates to a removable splint next week. And then it's on to a full recovery shortly after. I'm telling you, this girl is tough!

An Easter Celebration

Sterling is serving in the Texas San Antonio Mission. Last night the mission shared a musical Easter Celebration over Facebook Live and YouTube. It's a collection of musical numbers performed by missionaries and members throughout the greater San Antonio area. It's really beautiful and uplifting. Sterling recorded and mixed all the audio. He also sings in two of the numbers (at 38:55 and 45:35). I would have loved this even if Sterling wasn't involved, but seeing his cute face makes me love it even more.

Click here to watch: YouTube or you can also click on the picture below. 

Making Peace With February

I don't know what it is about February, but it's my least favorite month. With rare exception, February always and ironically feels like the longest month ever. Plus, I hate to be cold and February is typically the coldest month of the year in my little corner of the world. When I get chilled, I don't want to do anything or go anywhere which makes the days feel even longer. 

Knowing my feelings for February, I decided to challenge myself to three things: 

1) Write a blog post every day (After my long hiatus from regular blogging, that's quite a feat!) 

2) Create one piece of envelope art every day

3) Read at least one chapter from a book each day 

Today is February 28 and guess what? Once I publish this blog post, I will have reached my goals! I can honestly say that having those three goals really helped; surprisingly, it didn't feel like a burden. Now that February is over, I'm hoping to post to my blog somewhat regularly. As for the envelope art, I enjoyed the creative process, but these past few days I've really struggled to come up with people to address envelopes to. So I won't keep that up, but I took pictures of every envelope I designed so it will be easy for me to recreate specific designs when I want to send something fun. And I hope to continue reading at least one chapter a day. In February, I finished reading "Mere Christianity," by C. S. Lewis and "Atomic Habits," by James Clear. I'm now reading "A Grief Observed," by C. S. Lewis which I should finish tomorrow. I just picked up some new books from the library so I have a few choices about what to read next. I love reading and I'm glad to get back into it. It's been a while since I've taken the time.

It's been a good month. Sure, we had our ridiculous cold spell where I just wanted to snuggle up on the couch all day, but I was grateful for the motivation to get up off the couch and do something. I'm just grateful I can finally say that February isn't all that bad. 

One of my favorite envelopes. My friend gave me the dancing stamps so I had to come up with an envelope to send to Sam, our ballroom dancer. He loved it! :)

Service Station

When life gets overwhelming and personal problems seem too much to bear, it's curiously healing to set aside our own difficulties and find ways to lighten the burdens of others. That's what I love about the quote below. Service has a way of putting things into perspective and highlighting the things that are most important. 

 

Be A Light

I remember we were just a few weeks into the pandemic when I first heard this song by Thomas Rhett last April. We were all feeling a little cooped up, frustrated, and tired. There was also plenty of finger pointing about decisions being made on a national level, not to mention the political tension as candidates and their parties couldn't say anything nice about each other. 

Country music always seems to tell it like it is and the lyrics to this song pretty clearly state what we all needed to hear then, and need just as much now. 

Here are just a few of the lyrics (first verse and chorus), but the whole song is worth listening to.

In a time full of war, be peace.

In a time full of doubt, just believe.

Yeah, there ain't that much difference between you and me.

In a time full of war, be peace.

In a world full of hate, be a light.

When you do somebody wrong, make it right.

Don't hide in the dark. You were born to shine.

In a world full of hate, be a light.

I Stand At The Door

This painting by Del Parson is a great visualization of Revelation 3:20 - "Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me."

Most look at this as a reminder that we need to open the door and let the Savior in. He always honors our agency so He's not going to barge in; it is always our choice. 

So why not open the door? Well, maybe those on the inside desperately want to let the Savior in, but they feel like they need to clean their house first. Everything is such a mess and they are embarrassed and don't want the Savior to see the chaos. And when your messy house really represents your messy, sinful life, it's common to feel like you need to clean up the mess before allowing the Savior in. 

But what if you could zoom out from the painting above and see that Christ brought a whole slew of cleaning supplies with Him? What if the reason He's there is to help you clean your house? 

Isn't that just the most comforting and hopeful thought? I love that perspective. I wish I'd come up with it myself, but I heard it from Savannah's husband, Hayden. He and Savannah have a podcast called "I Stand At The Door," and it's about overcoming pornography and inviting the Savior in to help you. I know that the thoughts they share are giving hope to many people. And many of the things they discuss can be helpful in overcoming other sins and addictions. But my favorite so far is their picture of the Savior standing outside the door with every needed cleaning supply just ready to put them to good use, if only He is allowed inside.

God's Love

I love this quote and I know it's true. God loves each of us. Always. Just like a child might feel like their mom or dad doesn't love them anymore when they do something naughty, sometimes our choices keep us from feeling God's love. But His love is not conditional. He is always waiting with His arms outstretched when we are ready to turn around. 

A Worthy Cause

Do you want to make a world of difference with a small donation? I have just the charity for you. Educate the Kids is a charity out of Scotland that has built an orphanage and schools and changed the lives of thousands of children in a small village in Kenya, Africa. The charity was started by Maureen over 20 years ago. Maureen is the mother of my friend, Yvonne, from Scotland. Yvonne helps run the charity as well. These ladies are as good as they come. I have known them for almost 30 years and I can fully vouch for their integrity and goodness. 

Because Educate the Kids is run by volunteers, they don't withhold any money from donations for administrative fees. Every penny of your donation will go to help the kids. You can donate directly through their website or you can contribute specifically toward food parcels* through Just Giving. The food parcel program was set up when the village lost their main source of income - tourism - during the Covid pandemic. Educate the Kids has literally saved this little community by providing them food and hope. 

The school is finally open once again after the pandemic closed it for several months.

A little goes a long way! Please consider a donation. And tell your friends! 

*The food parcel program says it's for Christmas, but as of today (February 18, 2021), they are still collecting donations and providing the parcels to families in the village. 

These handsome boys live in the orphanage.

Who is in Your Back Room?

Some good food for thought...

Restoration Proclamation

It's no secret that I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. As I shared back in March, so much of my testimony of the gospel is rooted in the events surrounding the restoration. So I was excited when our prophet, President Russell M. Nelson, shared this proclamation on the restoration at our General Conference last April. It says what I was trying to say in my post. 

The restored gospel of Jesus Christ brings peace and joy and shows us the way back to our loving Heavenly Father. I believe the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the Lord's church, restored on the earth in our day. And like the proclamation says, "those who prayerfully study the message of the Restoration and act in faith will be blessed to gain their own witness of its divinity and of its purpose to prepare the world for the promised Second Coming of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ."

If you want to know more, click here. Or e-mail me and I'd be happy to help you find answers to your questions.

 

Saving the Cake

Spencer and Grace were married in November. The cake was ordered a couple months in advance and it was our job to pick it up the morning of the wedding and deliver it to the home where the family celebration was to be held. Spencer told me he was excited to see the cake. He had given the bakery creative license and couldn't wait to see what they came up with. 

You can imagine my surprise when I looked in the box and found a plain white cake base. I told the baker about my conversation with Spencer and how he was expecting them to decorate the cake. She understandably looked horrified. It turns out it was just a big misunderstanding. Spencer thought he'd given them creative license, paid a deposit, and would pay the rest later. The bakery notes said he ordered a plain white base and had paid in-full up front. At this point, it didn't really matter who was right. I had a plain white cake base and limited time to drop it off and get to the ceremony. 

Several ideas popped into my mind during the drive and by the time we arrived, I had a plan. Grace loves poinsettias so we had those for some of the table decorations. They had curly gold things in them so we were able to use those as well as the flowers. I had some pretty gold ribbon with me, again for the tables, that we incorporated as well. Fortunately, the family whose home we were using knew that the sap of the poinsettias contains harmful chemicals so they advised us to wrap the poinsettia stems in plastic wrap so they wouldn't leak on the cake. Good save! 

Here's the finished cake. Not bad for a 10 minute decoration job, if I do say so myself. While Spencer eventually told Grace what happened, she had no idea during the celebration itself. Fortunately, this is the worst thing that happened all day and it wasn't even that bad. Whew!

 

Living the Dream

The "Past Forward" writing group I attend hasn't met since last March, only days before the world shut down. Mid-April, a month into "lockdown" and with no clue how long it would last, we were encouraged to write down our thoughts about the virus and staying home. Here's my short piece, written April 14, 2020. And for the record, as anxious as I am to be rid of face masks and to gather with others without a second thought, I still feel like I'm living the dream.

Living the Dream

I woke up and looked at the clock. 4:59am. I turned off my alarm before it went off at 5 so I wouldn’t wake my husband. I got out of bed, knelt to say my morning prayers, and quietly left my bedroom.

I have things I want to do today, or rather, I have things I wanted to do last week or last month that didn’t get done because everyone is home. By everyone, I mean two of my six kids and my husband. But I’m the mom and I take that title seriously. I like to mother. So when I’m in the middle of something and someone needs me, I stop what I’m doing. I like being available, even if that means watching a Hallmark movie on the couch with my daughter because she asked. Or four Hallmark movies…but who’s counting? Sometimes that means making cookies or muddy buddies or dishing up goldfish crackers because school from home requires regular snacks. Sometimes it’s just being available to answer questions about school, even if the answer is “Ask your brother. He knows how to set up a Zoom conference.”

Then there are my other four kids. Three of them are students at Brigham Young University (BYU) in Provo, Utah and one is serving as a missionary in Texas. My daughter just got married in January but has now been without her husband longer than she was with him because he’s at basic training for the Marines. She’s doing really well under the circumstances, but sometimes she has a really hard day so the phone rings a lot. And I talk to her. My missionary son can call twice a week and I drop whatever I’m doing to talk to him. My oldest son has a habit of calling while he walks across campus to the library (where he’s still allowed to study, social distancing all along the way). And sometimes he gets a little philosophical and so our conversations go a bit long. I can talk on the phone while I do the laundry, make dinner, clean the kitchen, etc., but all those “things I want to do” require a little more focus. I save those for the times when I’m home alone while Jeff and the kids are away each day. Only now they’re not.

And so, in an effort to have my productive alone time, I woke up at 4:59 this morning. I made progress on a project before the kids started getting up. I’ll get back to it eventually. In the meantime, I get to mother even more. It’s quite a nice perk, really, since in just over three years I’ll have an empty nest. Being the mom has always been my dream job and so I guess you could say I’m living the dream. That’s what it feels like to me.

How Great Thou Art

Sterling is in San Antonio, Texas as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Because of Covid-19, missionary work looks a lot different in 2020 than it did when I served in Scotland a million years ago. Missionaries are currently unable to knock on doors and ask people if they are interested in learning about Christ and His gospel. While hard at first, missionaries are stepping up to the challenge all over the world and coming up with new and, often, better ways to share the gospel. 

As you may know, Sterling is very musical. Walking away from his at-home recording studio was hard on him when he left last December. But now he's got his recording equipment with him in Texas and he's putting his talents and skills to good use. Sterling and the others on the mission technology committee are working together to help their fellow missionaries produce videos to share their light with the world. 

Here's a video they released last week. It's an arrangement that Sterling heard and then recreated. It was originally sung by an a cappella group called Reprise. 

Sterling should have another video coming out in the next day or two that he arranged himself. I can't wait!

What if it's True?

I’m a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. My membership in the church is arguably my favorite thing about my life. It has shaped many of my decisions and has brought me an overwhelming amount of peace and joy. It provides direction for my life. I want to share some basic information about the church – mostly things that set us apart from others – and why we go to great lengths to share the restored gospel of Jesus Christ with the world.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the same gospel with its attending ordinances, covenants and priesthood, that was on the earth anciently. Throughout all dispensations of time, God has spoken to prophets. The gospel has not changed, but in every dispensation it is revealed anew for the people in that time, through the chosen prophet. The same is true in our day.

This is where Joseph Smith comes in. As a 14-year old boy, Joseph Smith had some questions about his standing before God. He was also quite overwhelmed by the religious revival that was actively going on in his part of the country. Between the contention among the different preachers and the confusion about their interpretations of the Bible, Joseph wasn’t sure how to know which church was right. One day, while studying the Bible, he read James 1:5 which reads: If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

Serious reflection on this verse ultimately caused him to go to a grove of trees near his home to pray, hoping to gain some insight and clarity for the wisdom he lacked.

Photo by Jörg Bauer on Unsplash

Much has been written about what happened as a result of Joseph’s prayer in what we now call “the sacred grove.” For my purposes here, I will simply say that God the Father and Jesus Christ, two separate beings, appeared to Joseph Smith in a remarkable vision. Joseph was ultimately called as the prophet to usher in the current and final dispensation. Over a period of time and like previous dispensations, the gospel was revealed to Joseph Smith in its fulness.

The fulness of the gospel includes priesthood authority to perform the ordinances of salvation such as baptism and confirmation. Because of the great apostasy which took place after Christ’s apostles were killed, the authority of the priesthood was no longer found on the earth. This authority was restored to Joseph Smith by those who held it before. John the Baptist, as a “messenger from heaven,” conferred upon Joseph the Aaronic priesthood by the laying on of hands. At a later time and in the same manner, Peter, James and John conferred upon Joseph the Melchizedek or higher priesthood.

The Book of Mormon is a book of scripture that Joseph Smith was given the power to translate. It was given to him as a set of gold plates, which had been kept by ancient prophets from 600 BC through about 420 AD. Yes, we believe in the Bible, but the Book of Mormon was written for our day. It was meant to come forth in this final dispensation. Like its subtitle “Another Testament of Jesus Christ” suggests, the Book of Mormon truly testifies of Christ. With remarkably few exceptions, Jesus Christ is spoken of on every page of that sacred book. 

This very generally sums up the restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ. So, what if it's true? What if Joseph Smith really was a prophet? Then we know the true nature of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. They are separate beings with bodies of flesh and bone. We know that God once again speaks through a living prophet. The heavens are open! We have the Book of Mormon which helps to clarify truths in the Bible and declares truths that were lost or taken away during the apostasy. Priesthood authority has been restored to the earth. We can be baptized by one holding the same authority as John the Baptist who baptized the Savior! Families can be sealed together for eternity; it doesn't have to be "until death do us part." 

All of this is possible because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. By suffering for our sins, He satisfied the demands of justice so that He can show us mercy if we repent and come unto Him. But we have to know the way. 

God is no respecter of persons. As the literal Father of our spirits, He wants all of His children to return to Him. He is not a God of confusion so the requirements are the same for everyone; there are not multiple ways to gain salvation. And that is why we take this message to all the world! We believe everyone needs to know about the restored gospel of Jesus Christ so that they have the opportunity to exercise faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, repent, be baptized by immersion for the remission of sins by one who holds the priesthood, receive the gift of the Holy Ghost, and endure to the end.

Again I ask, what if it's true? 

If you want to learn more, receive a free copy of the Book of Mormon, or request a visit by missionaries, start here: comeuntochrist.org

Feel free to comment or Email me if you have questions.

Reppin' the Y

It's no secret that we're big BYU fans. Jeff and I graduated from Brigham Young University. Sam is currently a student there and Savannah will be back in the fall. Spencer will start in January, and if all goes well, Sterling will start in January, too. We are "Reppin' the Y" from our dining room table to our wardrobe choices - Sterling wears a BYU shirt to school at least 3 days a week - and I hope we're Reppin' the Y in our conduct as well.

This graduation speech at BYU by one who is not a member of our faith and who never actually attended BYU gives new meaning to "Reppin' the Y." I love what Honorary Doctorate Arthur C. Brooks says about his behavior when sporting a BYU briefcase. But listen further because his talk is powerful as he discusses anger vs. contempt, how differing viewpoints is not a bad thing, and how we can learn to "disagree better." It was well worth twelve minutes of my day!

Here's Your Change

After missing for the past few months, I finally attended our community writing group again last night. I don't know why I've stayed away. It's a really fantastic group of people who are very encouraging and funny and kind.

Last night, the assigned topic was change. I had a busy evening so I knew I'd be quite late to the meeting and I thought about missing again, but as I pondered the topic, my paper pretty much wrote itself so I went and shared it with the group. Here it is.

Here’s Your Change

I was selling tickets last week on opening night of my daughter’s school play. Ticket prices were four and seven dollars which meant I repeated the line “Here’s your change” dozens of times as I handed back various assortments of bills.

As I thought about the topic of change, that phrase “Here’s your change,” kept running through my mind. If only it were that easy, I thought.  But as I reflected more and more, I realized that maybe it is. Maybe change isn’t as elusive as it sometimes feels.

Recently I was listening to a podcast when the speaker said something that was so inspiring that she may as well have reached through the internet to say, “Here’s your change.”

She pointed out, in short, that circumstances are neutral. It’s our thoughts and the meaning we give them that determine our feelings which determine our actions. So if we can change the way we think about something, we can change the way we feel and ultimately act.

This goes along with my belief that we have been put here on earth as agents to act, not objects to be acted upon.

Let me share a simple example.

Let’s say I have a preschooler and she spills her milk during dinner. I immediately get mad, thinking (and saying) that she is so irresponsible and if she would pay more attention to what she’s doing, I wouldn’t have so much work to do. I get up in a huff to clean it up, fuming the whole time.

Is she irresponsible? No. That’s only what I think about her, but it doesn’t make it true. The only fact here is that there is milk spilled on the table. What is she then? Well, she’s a preschooler. Sometimes preschoolers spill their milk and that’s okay. If I can slow down enough to change my thinking, I may even find some compassion and reassurance for my daughter to let her know that she’s normal and that spilled milk is no big deal. Do you see the difference?

So if, for example, you don’t think your husband is doing a very good job making you happy, stop and change your thinking. That’s not his job. It’s yours. No one can make you happy because you are not an object to be acted upon. It’s what you think about the things your husband does and what meaning you give to those thoughts that determine your feelings of happiness…or not. It’s also important to realize that it’s not your job to make your husband happy. It’s his. Because we’re agents to act, we have the option to choose happiness. No one can force it upon us. Release other people to feel how they feel. You can’t control their feelings. And know that you are free to feel how you feel and that you can change your thinking and the meaning you give those thoughts to arrive at the feelings and, ultimately, the actions that best serve you.

This is potentially life-changing stuff. I know it has changed my perspective. I have realized that when I react negatively based on other people’s actions, I am giving them control over me. I have learned that I can change my thinking and it will, in turn, change everything.

One other thought.

As I pictured my podcast friend reaching through the internet with my “change,” my mind’s eye focused in on another picture. It was one of the outstretched arms of the Savior. I could see the marks of the nails in his hands as he said, “Here’s your change.”  I had to catch my breath because that is exactly what the Savior offers to each one of us. “Behold, he sendeth an invitation unto all men, for the arms of mercy are extended towards them, and he saith: Repent, and I will receive you,” (Alma 5:33).

Repentance means change. It’s not always easy, but change is what will allow us to return to our Heavenly Father and feel comfortable in His presence. We will never achieve perfection on our own, but through the Savior’s Atoning sacrifice, we can become perfect through Him. He can change our very hearts. This is available to each one of us, but He always honors our agency and will never force us to choose Him. But if and when we do, we will see Him waiting there with outstretched arms.

“Here’s your change.”

Saying Goodbye...Again

We said goodbye to our beautiful Savannah this morning. She's on her way to the Missionary Training Center for a few weeks before heading to the Nevada Las Vegas West Mission for 18 months.

Savannah has been home from BYU for a month just waiting for this day. As hard as it was to say goodbye, I know she's ready which made it a lot easier to let her go. There is so much about Savannah that will contribute to her being an amazing missionary. She's funny and smart. She doesn't hold grudges. People feel safe with Savannah; she just loves everyone. She has an amazing testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ and isn't shy about sharing it. We miss her already, but I know she's going to be just fine.

Over the last few weeks, Savannah and Sterling have been working together to record an A Cappella cover of "This Is Me" from The Greatest Showman. Sterling wrote the arrangement and the two of them laid down all 8 tracks. They finished it up just in time. It is admittedly amateur, but I think they did a great job!! It was fun and very satisfying as a mom to see them working so enthusiastically together to complete this fun project. :) Here you go: