I just got the news that my Grandma passed away this evening. While I can’t say it was totally unexpected — we thought she was going to go a couple of weeks ago — it was still a bit of a shock as she rallied and seemed to be doing better than she had for a while. That can be counted as one of the Lord’s tender mercies, allowing her last days here to be happy and full of family which made her passing easier on everyone since she wasn’t suffering at the end. Another tender mercy is that my little family and I got to see her on August 1. We weren’t supposed to head west this Summer. We had decided in May that we would skip our annual trek because of fuel prices, etc. But then we decided spur-of-the-moment to head out anyway and got to see both sides of our families in a 2 week period. We saw Grandma 3 days before we headed back home and, although our visit was somewhat short, we enjoyed spending time with her. My kids all hugged their Great Grandma as we left. When she became ill only a week later, we were all grateful that we’d endured the long drive so we could see her one last time.
When I think of my Grandma, here are a few things that come to mind:
-Grandma has been alone for almost 13 years. Grandpa passed away my first year of marriage. Grandma cared for him through Alzheimer’s Disease which was really hard on her at times.
-I really hated piano lessons as a kid. Once, I agreed to sign a 2 year contract to take lessons if I could sleep over at my Grandma’s house for one night. My Grandma let me stay for 2 nights and took me shopping at the Mall which I thought was cool. I had fun with my Grandparents, but soon afterwards I found myself wondering, “What was I thinking?”
-My Grandma and Grandpa once took my sister and me and two of our cousins, Stacy and Stephanie, to the Alpine Slide. The only thing I remember about that outing is the 4 of us sitting in the backseat singing chants about diarrhea. (When you’re climbing up a mountain and you feel a little fountain, it’s diarrhea. It’s diarrhea. When you’re eating refried beans and you feel something in your jeans, it’s diarrhea. It’s diarrhea. I could go on and on…) I don’t know what my Grandparents thought of us that day but the 4 of us girls couldn’t stop laughing.
-When I was in High School I got my first perm. I wasn’t really sure about it and when my Grandma was visiting one day I asked her what she thought. She said something like, “Well, I’ve never really cared for that frizzy look.” I was devastated and remember thinking that Grandma’s were only supposed to say nice things to their grandkids. Shame on me for begging for compliments. At least she was honest.
-Grandma taught me how to stitch plastic canvas, probably when I was in Middle School though I could have been younger. My first project was a pencil holder, then I made a kleenex box holder which I was very proud of. One of the designs had a french knot in the center which gave me fits, but I was so happy when I finally figured it out. When we saw Grandma earlier this month, she sent the kids home with 2 plastic canvas cats that she made recently. The kids love them and with her passing, they just became more valuable to us.
-Grandma loved to crochet. She gave me an afghan when I graduated from high school, when I got married, and after 2 or 3 of my kids were born. If she was doing the same for my siblings and cousins, she was very busy as there were 25 of us, give or take.
-For family parties, Grandma often made her famous “Dilly Dip” which had dill pickle, green pepper, and I think sour cream (although it might have been cream cheese) and probably a few other things. It was always served with chicken-in-a-biskit crackers. Mmmm…I can taste it just thinking about it! (I also remember Grandpa telling me one year at Christmas that if I ate the ham, I’d grow hair on my chest.)
I don’t have any more Grandparents left. Jeff’s have all passed as well. Of course we’ll all miss Grandma. Even though we live far away, just knowing she was there was a comfort. But I’ll take consolation in the thought that her long-awaited reunion in heaven tonight is a happy one!
Grandma holding Sadie, Summer 2005
Lindsay: My funniest memory of Grandma was soon after Grandpa died. She came over to our house, and I had just received flowers from someone. She thought they were so beautiful and made the comment, “Bob never sent me flowers.” So the following week, one day after work, I stopped by the grocery store and picked up a bouquet. I took it over to her house and she answered the door with a huge smile. She said, “They are beautiful! Bob never sent me flowers because he always knew I was allergic!” Every time I tell that story it makes me laugh!
I also remember her “Family Hall of Fame”. She loved to get pictures of her Grandkids. She had those oval picture frames hanging down the wall for each family, in order from parents to the youngest child. It was always fun to go and see what new pictures were up.
When I was little, I loved watching the wave machine that they had in their dinning room.
I love you Grandma! I know you are happy where you are now… and that makes me very happy! Give Grandpa a hug from me! We will all miss you!
Stacy: It was a really nice funeral. I think grandma would have enjoyed it (I’m sure she was watching — with grandpa too).
My memory of grandma was when I stayed over at her house and she tried to make me eat yams. I told her I hated yams but she said I had to taste them. So I tasted them, gagged, and threw up. Needless to say, I never had to eat yams again.
I also remember camping (with you, Chantal, and Stephanie) in the trailer in grandma & grandpa’s driveway each summer. I’m sure we drove them nuts with all the giggling. Fun times!!
Lori: When I was about 5 or 6 I remember going to her house and trying on some handme down cloths. While I was in the bathroom trying them on, I somehow locked myself in there and could not get out. We ended up having to take the door off. Somehow this story was brought up MANY times since then.
Matt and I were in Afton’s ward for about 2 years after we were married. We always enjoyed sitting by her and getting her hugs and kisses. What a special lady.
Steve: I remember going to Grandma’s place after a dentist appointment with mom when I was a little kid. My cheek was still numb from the shots and so I kept chewing on my cheek and didn’t feel anything. Grandma asked what I was chewing on and when I opened my mouth, I guess my inner cheek was turning blue and purple. I think my mom called the dentist to ask what they should do. They just gave me some pain killers and told me to stop doing that.
I still make peanut butter shakes all the time and find myself ordering the peanut butter Moo’d at Jamba when we go there. Did Grandma give them the idea?
Anyway, the funeral was good. But, just to make it clear, solos are not my thing and we should not incorporate any for me next time even if it is just 7 words.
Maybe we should get together more than just for funerals. I barely recognized all my cousins and even if I was given $1,000,000 I am certain I could not name them all. And, now that there are so many kids, they might enjoy getting together to play or something.
Amy: Sorry it has taken me so long to write some memories of grandma. I always think about being a little kid and feeling like I needed to make my neck look invisible so that she wouldn’t tickle it to death! But no matter how hard I tried, she’d find a way to pry her fingers in there! (Grandpa was a big tickler too!).
I had a lot of fun while I was living with Chantal to be able to be so close to grandma. It was great to see her just about weekly and go grocery shopping together. We were at Ream’s for awhile but then she switched to Harmons. At first she was better at eating somewhat healthy. But later on, I would have to beg her to buy some veggies and sometimes would even hide them in her cart so that she’d think she put them there! I guess her philosphy was, “A donut a day……”
I thought you might like to read this story. I am telling it in a lesson I’m giving tomorrow on Charity.
I’d like to share a story about the charitable acts of my grandmother’s Relief Society President, Denise. My grandmother passed away just two weeks ago. Besides putting in a lot of time, hard work, and coordination for a luncheon for our family members, Denise, a retired beautician, asked to do my grandma’s hair and makeup for her bodies last showing on this earth. This is something she’s only done a couple of times, but each time has been a sacred event. This is what she described to my mom and my sister after the luncheon.
Denise walked into the room where my grandmother’s body was and greeted her. She always talks to the body she is working on, through her mind. She had a couple of pictures of grandma where her hair was worn differently, so she wasn’t sure how she was going to do it. So she just started curling it. Then in her mind she heard a voice say, “Could you curl it this other way? I want to look really nice for my family.” So Denise said, “Oh sure Afton.” Then Denise was curling the right side of my grandma’s sideburns and she heard my grandma say, “Now, don’t forget the other side.” So Denise looked at the left side and said, “Sure enough, there’s a spot I missed.” It was a short section of hair that was hard to curl but was sticking straight up. Denise reassured my grandma that if she needed to, she would get some gel and a pin so that it would lay down. Once Denise had finished my grandma’s hair she knew that my grandma was pleased with how she looked.
I was really touched when I heard this encounter. That weekend, Denise served both my grandma and our family, but through these charitable acts, it was easy to feel that Denise possibly benefited the most. She was able to feel the love of Christ at the same time she was sharing the love of Christ with others. I don’t think there is anything more sweet than that.
