14 Years Ago

Dear Savannah,
     Fourteen years ago today, terrified, I walked into a hospital in Columbus, Ohio to give birth.  I'd gotten it into my head several months before that I was going to die during childbirth.  That is a long story for another day, but I was scared. I had my final meltdown the night before with instructions to your dad that if anything happened and there was a choice to save me or the baby, please save me.  Sam needed a mom.
     It was easy to make that decision then because I didn't know you.  I didn't know you would be a perfect baby girl, let alone grow up to be a beautiful and accomplished young woman.  I didn't know what a good friend you would be or how crazy and silly you would sometimes act.  I didn't know your little fingers would become so skilled at the piano or that your voice would sound like an angel.   I didn't know the friends that would pass through our door because they were drawn to your goodness or the boys you would talk about nonstop.  I didn't know that you would never be happy with age 13 and look forward for an entire year to your 14th birthday.  I didn't know that you'd come into my room at night and sit on the end of my bed and talk and laugh and refuse to leave even when your dad and I threatened to make-out if you didn't.  I didn't know that you'd be so grossed out when your dad and I hugged or kissed or otherwise acted like we like each other.  I didn't know that you'd work so hard to meet your goals or that you'd make such an impression on so many people.  I didn't know what a difference you would make in my life.
     I am so glad I didn't have to miss any of that.  I'm happy that I know you and that you are mine.  I can't imagine how different our lives would be without you.  I hope I never have to find out what that would be like.
     Happy Birthday, Savannah.  I hope 14 is your best year so far!

Love, Mom